Selflessness and self esteem: our essential value.
Selflessness and self esteem: our essential value.
Do you know that “ only a life lived for others is a life worth living” hmm, it’s no secret that change is hard. But imagine if you knew that there was one trait you can work on, which would cause so many of life’s struggles and difficulties to slowly disappear. It would make you a happier person, it would give your life more meaning and it would enhance your relationship with the people closest to you, you would become a more sensitive person, a more caring person, and a more given person.
Perhaps this is the quality that can change your life so much. It is called selflessness. It doesn’t sound very appealing right? Let’s explore what it really is all about.
The term selflessness is the quality of caring more about what other people need and want, than what you yourself need and want. It is the quality of not putting yourself first, but to give your time, money or effort etc, for others. It’s when you are so impressed and in awe of a person, that when in his presence, your own needs don’t feel so significant anymore. It’s when something is so special and dear to you, than your very existence becomes secondary.
Nevertheless, as important as it is to live a life of selflessness, to so many, it’s nothing but a theory. You can learn about it, think about it and even preach about it. But when somebody cuts you off on the highway, you don’t feel very selfless. Our nature doesn’t allow us to feel that way. Instead, we think to ourselves “ i don’t care to be selfless i’m not ready to inconvenience myself for another. Even if it makes sense to me, I’m not willing to give up my own comfort for someone else sake”. These thoughts are very natural, people are inclined to do things from which they benefit, they will do things once they see what’s in stock for them.
So is it fair to ask, “ what can I benefit from being selfless?” well, it’s normal. Is it a contradiction? Probably. Nonetheless, take living a faithful like for instance, it’s requires being good to others and mostly loving another more than yourself, even if you don’t do this totally it is not a reason to quit. But first of all do it for your own sake and that will lead you to do it for goodness sake or for Gods sake.
Being selfless is a mindset on a simple level, it’s about putting someone else before you. It’s about realizing that life isn’t just about your own needs and preference, but rather looking out for another’s as well. Society says “look out for yourself” but God says “look out for others and I will look out for you”.
SElF ESTEEM: Self esteem reflects an individuals overall subjective emotional evaluation of its own worth. It is the decision made by an individual as an attitude toward the self. Self esteem encompasses belief about oneself, for example “I am competent”, “ I am worthy”, as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride and shame. Smith and mackie (2007) defined it by saying “the self concept is what we think about the self, self esteem is the positive or negative evaluation of the self, as in how we feel about it”.
Self esteem is attractive as a social psychological construct because researchers have conceptualized it as influential predict of certain outcomes, such as academic achievement, happiness, satisfaction in marriage and relationships and criminal behavior.
Self esteem can apply specifically to a particular dimension for example “ I believe I am a good writer and I feel happy about that” or a global extent for example “ I believe I am a bad person and I feel bad about myself in general.
Most people feel bad about themselves from time to time. Feelings of low self esteem may be triggered by being treaded poorly by someone else, recently or in the past or by a person’s own judgements of him or herself. This is normal. However, low self esteem is a constant companion for too many people, especially those who experience depression, anxiety, phobias, psychosis, delusional thinking or who have an illness or a disability. If you are one of these people, you may go through life feeling bad about yourself if needlessly. Low self esteem keeps you from enjoying life, doing the things you want to do and work towards personal goals. You have a right to feel good about yourself.
Build your self esteem by changing negative thoughts: I am loser, I never do anything, I am a jerk, I am stupid. Most people believe this message, no matter how untrue or unreal they are. You can work on changing your negative thoughts to positive ones by replacing the negative thoughts with the positive one every time you realize you are thinking negatively. Change the thought of
* I am not worth anything to, I am a valuable person.
* I have never accomplished anything to, I have accomplished many things.
* I always make mistakes to, I do many things right.
* I am a jerk to , I am a great person.
* I am stupid to, I am smart.
* I don’t deserve a good life to, I deserve to be happy and healthy, etc.
Yes you deserve to be happy and there is only one way to be happy and that to make somebody else happy. Tossed personal happiness aside as a triviality and planted the interest of another in the center of our being. Spontaneously and without effort we have fulfilled the law ( towards one person) by “ loving our neighbor as ourselves. See
* The greatest achievement is selflessness.
* The greatest worth is self-mastery.
* The greatest quality is seeking to serve others.
Believe it or not, it’s our attitude that will ultimately make our own life a better one.
Benefits of selflessness:
Conquers Pride.
In a true selfless action we are not acting to feed our ego and receive the flattery of the world; we are not acting out of competition or desire to prove ourself to others. Selflessness means we act out of a motivation to do the right thing and help others. By definition, selflessness cannot involve inflating our ego, it does exactly the opposite.
Expands our Mind.
When we act only out of selfish motives we bind and limit ourselves. Every action, we calculate how we might benefit; this attitude hinders the intuitive and spontaneous feelings of the heart. When we act through selfless motives we are helping to expand our sense of self and sense of identity. This enables us to get joy from the achievements of others; it enables us to get joy from serving others. This outlook on life is the best guard against jealousy, meanness and vanity.
Your mind’s selfishness
Is your all-exclusive individuality.
Your heart’s selflessness
Is your all-inclusive universality.
True Friendship.
Friendship and love is not like a bartering service at an auction. If we wish to love in a selfless way it means we need to identify with others. This is very different love to the human love that demands and expects things in return. Real love and friendship must involve a forgetting of self and a willingness to put others first.
Selflessness is Attractive.
It is ironical that when we work for praise and outer recognition it proves fleeting and elusive. But, if we are really selfless, our sympathetic actions will definitely be appreciated by others. True selflessness is a quality that we instinctively appreciate in others.
Conclusively, when you put yourself aside when you think about the contribution that you can make to others and to the duty of making our world a more better place. You allow yourself to start behaving in a way which bring purpose into your life. You feel needed in the effort of making God’s will materialize. A dog has one aim in life.... to bestow his heart, our purpose in this life is to help others and let them know they are not alone. There is power in self- sacrifice....
Awolola Samuel Obasanjo
Os/ 18c/ 3384.
Do you know that “ only a life lived for others is a life worth living” hmm, it’s no secret that change is hard. But imagine if you knew that there was one trait you can work on, which would cause so many of life’s struggles and difficulties to slowly disappear. It would make you a happier person, it would give your life more meaning and it would enhance your relationship with the people closest to you, you would become a more sensitive person, a more caring person, and a more given person.
Perhaps this is the quality that can change your life so much. It is called selflessness. It doesn’t sound very appealing right? Let’s explore what it really is all about.
The term selflessness is the quality of caring more about what other people need and want, than what you yourself need and want. It is the quality of not putting yourself first, but to give your time, money or effort etc, for others. It’s when you are so impressed and in awe of a person, that when in his presence, your own needs don’t feel so significant anymore. It’s when something is so special and dear to you, than your very existence becomes secondary.
Nevertheless, as important as it is to live a life of selflessness, to so many, it’s nothing but a theory. You can learn about it, think about it and even preach about it. But when somebody cuts you off on the highway, you don’t feel very selfless. Our nature doesn’t allow us to feel that way. Instead, we think to ourselves “ i don’t care to be selfless i’m not ready to inconvenience myself for another. Even if it makes sense to me, I’m not willing to give up my own comfort for someone else sake”. These thoughts are very natural, people are inclined to do things from which they benefit, they will do things once they see what’s in stock for them.
So is it fair to ask, “ what can I benefit from being selfless?” well, it’s normal. Is it a contradiction? Probably. Nonetheless, take living a faithful like for instance, it’s requires being good to others and mostly loving another more than yourself, even if you don’t do this totally it is not a reason to quit. But first of all do it for your own sake and that will lead you to do it for goodness sake or for Gods sake.
Being selfless is a mindset on a simple level, it’s about putting someone else before you. It’s about realizing that life isn’t just about your own needs and preference, but rather looking out for another’s as well. Society says “look out for yourself” but God says “look out for others and I will look out for you”.
SElF ESTEEM: Self esteem reflects an individuals overall subjective emotional evaluation of its own worth. It is the decision made by an individual as an attitude toward the self. Self esteem encompasses belief about oneself, for example “I am competent”, “ I am worthy”, as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride and shame. Smith and mackie (2007) defined it by saying “the self concept is what we think about the self, self esteem is the positive or negative evaluation of the self, as in how we feel about it”.
Self esteem is attractive as a social psychological construct because researchers have conceptualized it as influential predict of certain outcomes, such as academic achievement, happiness, satisfaction in marriage and relationships and criminal behavior.
Self esteem can apply specifically to a particular dimension for example “ I believe I am a good writer and I feel happy about that” or a global extent for example “ I believe I am a bad person and I feel bad about myself in general.
Most people feel bad about themselves from time to time. Feelings of low self esteem may be triggered by being treaded poorly by someone else, recently or in the past or by a person’s own judgements of him or herself. This is normal. However, low self esteem is a constant companion for too many people, especially those who experience depression, anxiety, phobias, psychosis, delusional thinking or who have an illness or a disability. If you are one of these people, you may go through life feeling bad about yourself if needlessly. Low self esteem keeps you from enjoying life, doing the things you want to do and work towards personal goals. You have a right to feel good about yourself.
Build your self esteem by changing negative thoughts: I am loser, I never do anything, I am a jerk, I am stupid. Most people believe this message, no matter how untrue or unreal they are. You can work on changing your negative thoughts to positive ones by replacing the negative thoughts with the positive one every time you realize you are thinking negatively. Change the thought of
* I am not worth anything to, I am a valuable person.
* I have never accomplished anything to, I have accomplished many things.
* I always make mistakes to, I do many things right.
* I am a jerk to , I am a great person.
* I am stupid to, I am smart.
* I don’t deserve a good life to, I deserve to be happy and healthy, etc.
Yes you deserve to be happy and there is only one way to be happy and that to make somebody else happy. Tossed personal happiness aside as a triviality and planted the interest of another in the center of our being. Spontaneously and without effort we have fulfilled the law ( towards one person) by “ loving our neighbor as ourselves. See
* The greatest achievement is selflessness.
* The greatest worth is self-mastery.
* The greatest quality is seeking to serve others.
Believe it or not, it’s our attitude that will ultimately make our own life a better one.
Benefits of selflessness:
Conquers Pride.
In a true selfless action we are not acting to feed our ego and receive the flattery of the world; we are not acting out of competition or desire to prove ourself to others. Selflessness means we act out of a motivation to do the right thing and help others. By definition, selflessness cannot involve inflating our ego, it does exactly the opposite.
Expands our Mind.
When we act only out of selfish motives we bind and limit ourselves. Every action, we calculate how we might benefit; this attitude hinders the intuitive and spontaneous feelings of the heart. When we act through selfless motives we are helping to expand our sense of self and sense of identity. This enables us to get joy from the achievements of others; it enables us to get joy from serving others. This outlook on life is the best guard against jealousy, meanness and vanity.
Your mind’s selfishness
Is your all-exclusive individuality.
Your heart’s selflessness
Is your all-inclusive universality.
True Friendship.
Friendship and love is not like a bartering service at an auction. If we wish to love in a selfless way it means we need to identify with others. This is very different love to the human love that demands and expects things in return. Real love and friendship must involve a forgetting of self and a willingness to put others first.
Selflessness is Attractive.
It is ironical that when we work for praise and outer recognition it proves fleeting and elusive. But, if we are really selfless, our sympathetic actions will definitely be appreciated by others. True selflessness is a quality that we instinctively appreciate in others.
Conclusively, when you put yourself aside when you think about the contribution that you can make to others and to the duty of making our world a more better place. You allow yourself to start behaving in a way which bring purpose into your life. You feel needed in the effort of making God’s will materialize. A dog has one aim in life.... to bestow his heart, our purpose in this life is to help others and let them know they are not alone. There is power in self- sacrifice....
Awolola Samuel Obasanjo
Os/ 18c/ 3384.
Nice write-up Samuel more grace
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