YOU DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO TRY TO FIT IN

Whether you’re a self-described loner or a lifelong extrovert, everyone feels weird in social situations from time to time.Living an “independent” life or waving a giant loner flag as you eat lunch all by yourself isn’t absolutely wrong. However, at some point we become worried that we do not fit in and we don’t always have to fit in. 

Understanding why those emotions might be coming up can help one tackle the issue and feel more at ease in a group.Human have a fundamental need to belong, for some people they try to fit in cause of the fear of missing out. It therefore of necessity or importance to evaluate critically and compare the pros and cons of belonging or not belonging to a social classbefore trying to fit in because creativity, innovation and inventions lies outside the box.

Even though it’s quite normal to feel lonely at times sometimes, that doesn’t make it hurt any less. The social discomfort (I don’t fit in anywhere) could probably due to the fact that our friends are changing, perhaps you’ve grown as a person and are no longer as compatible with certain friends. Also, this sense of not belonging could be that you haven’t found the right community which could be as a result of several biases such as ones background, values, ethnicity, religion, age, occupation, literacy status amongst others. Sometimes this social dilemma could be that you aren’t opening up or that you worry much about what everyone thinks, say or feel. Often time you get into your head by constantly thinking ‘I don’t fit in’ while in a social group. It may be that you haven’t realized that everyone is unique in his own way and that you are unique and different even identical twin. Some people are shy and it’s ok to be shy but feeling shy to the point where you are unable to chat with new people might be a challenge fitting in into a social class. It could also be that you are ignoring a red flag or what want which affects your wellbeing and makes you a loner in a social group. Also, it maybe that you are not trying enough or contrarily, you are forcing yourself or rather struggling to cope or fit in into the group.

Just to help you out; you are to reflect on what you prioritize in relationships, focus on yourself and how you feel, ask questions when necessary and listen actively to help you ease into feeling more comfortable. You should embrace who you are, things you like and be self-confident. Cause you might be on the verge of inventing by fitting outside the box. Find a common ground, get out of your comfort zone, and express yourself, however, you must be modest so you don’t go overboard.

Sometimes, these things are easier said than done if you tend to be more shy or private. However, you don’t have to change who you are or pretend to be something you’re not to forge those connections or fit in. Before you stop reading, I leave you with the words of Charles de Lint which says “we're so quick to cut away pieces of ourselves to suit a particular relationship, a job, a circle of friends, incessantly editing who we are until we fit in.”Selah.

Johnluke Samuel

OS/21B/4797

Microbiology

University of Benin

Akwaibom