Relationship Talks: Putting All Your Eggs In One Basket
Recently, I had a talk with one of my married aunties. She was advising me on my relationship. At the end of the discussion, she said to me "I know you love this guy but don't put all your eggs in one basket". When I heard this "I was shook". In my mind I was like "Aaah Aunty! What exactly are you insinuating? Are you trying to tell me that while dating James, I should keep Andrew as spare tire?" I immediately discarded that advice as something from the pit of hell. I won't cheat on my man.
Fast forward to two weeks after our discussion, I had an issue with bae that made me understand what she was talking about that day. You see me, I am an exclusive woman. If I am in any relationship, I don't cheat and I don't even notice other men. My loyalty is like super glue or anything stronger than that. I am not even a good liar so even if I want to cheat, it would be stressful and your local girl is allergic to stress. Hence this write up is about a very important discovery I made and not about keeping side chicks or side boos.
I have since realized that in Nigeria there are 4 states of matter. Solid, liquid, gaseous and see finish. The last state eh! is the worst state of matter. Matter here, being you and I. Most right thinking ladies are naturally loyalist. When we love, we have love finish. We can even give our eyes to whomever we love and then go blind. The sad truth is this is what actually leads to us suffering the "see finish" state. This was what I discovered.
When you find yourself in this dilemma as a young loyal lady whose only crime was loving fiercely, my sister, please begin to share your eggs into different baskets. Your egg here is not your body or your heart. Your egg here is your time, your availability and your interests.
First things first, your love for bae has caused all your interests and time to be focused on bae. Where naturally you would not have the time, love pushes you to create that time. You become very available. This is no crime o. Ask a mother who just gave birth. Love for that child will send her running anytime her baby cries. It's the same for women in love.
However, the fault comes from our spouses. Of course, a man who truly loves you will not take you for granted but the sad truth is that your being available often times leads to familiarity. You might argue that a man who loves you, can never get so familiar with you to take you for granted but whether you argue or not, it is like a law of nature. Familiarity breeds contempt.
He can choose to call you later when he misses your call but he won't do that to his boss or business partner. I hope you get the gist. He is choosing to call you later not because he doesn't value you but because he believes that you are there and you will understand if he explains and your love for him will actually make you accept his excuse, which is true. You are to understand and you might not be happy but you will most likely accept his excuse and let it slide.
Consciously or unconsciously, this could continue. As it continues, gradually, you enter the see finish zone. In such a situation my sister, distribute your eggs. Of course, he is the basket where you have put all your eggs in, so he is bound to notice that "come o, I am getting lighter and lighter o". If he loves you, he checks and corrects himself. If not, he leaves you utterly alone.
Share your eggs my sister. Begin to be selectively available. I didn't say fight with him or give him attitude. Nope. Instead just let him know that it's not that you have all the time in the world, it's just that you choose to squeeze time out for him because he means so much to you.
Ladies, you are bound to enter "see finish" zone when you give him the impression that he is your all, that you rise and wake at his feet. Hence, keep yourself busy. Go out with friends, take courses online, read novels, pray, attend dates with friends. Make him understand that you are selectively available. Respect your man, submit to and honor him but don't put all your eggs in one basket by giving him the impression that you cannot do without him, you cannot live without him. Stop giving him weapons to hurt you. Let him know that as much as you love him, you will not compromise on being treated as a queen. Be selectively available. Transfer your attention to other baskets of spiritual improvement, career, friends, family and many more baskets that exists around you.
You must also remember that to be treated like a queen, you have to be a queen. So be the beautiful and bold queens you are. Keep your heart with him, do not cheat on him, love him as you should but do not allow him "see you finish". So no! Don't cheat but yes do not put all your eggs in one basket.
For my guys, the real Gees and the true faithful kings, just turn the tables. You too can be the one in the see finish zone.
Ciao!
Fast forward to two weeks after our discussion, I had an issue with bae that made me understand what she was talking about that day. You see me, I am an exclusive woman. If I am in any relationship, I don't cheat and I don't even notice other men. My loyalty is like super glue or anything stronger than that. I am not even a good liar so even if I want to cheat, it would be stressful and your local girl is allergic to stress. Hence this write up is about a very important discovery I made and not about keeping side chicks or side boos.
I have since realized that in Nigeria there are 4 states of matter. Solid, liquid, gaseous and see finish. The last state eh! is the worst state of matter. Matter here, being you and I. Most right thinking ladies are naturally loyalist. When we love, we have love finish. We can even give our eyes to whomever we love and then go blind. The sad truth is this is what actually leads to us suffering the "see finish" state. This was what I discovered.
When you find yourself in this dilemma as a young loyal lady whose only crime was loving fiercely, my sister, please begin to share your eggs into different baskets. Your egg here is not your body or your heart. Your egg here is your time, your availability and your interests.
First things first, your love for bae has caused all your interests and time to be focused on bae. Where naturally you would not have the time, love pushes you to create that time. You become very available. This is no crime o. Ask a mother who just gave birth. Love for that child will send her running anytime her baby cries. It's the same for women in love.
However, the fault comes from our spouses. Of course, a man who truly loves you will not take you for granted but the sad truth is that your being available often times leads to familiarity. You might argue that a man who loves you, can never get so familiar with you to take you for granted but whether you argue or not, it is like a law of nature. Familiarity breeds contempt.
He can choose to call you later when he misses your call but he won't do that to his boss or business partner. I hope you get the gist. He is choosing to call you later not because he doesn't value you but because he believes that you are there and you will understand if he explains and your love for him will actually make you accept his excuse, which is true. You are to understand and you might not be happy but you will most likely accept his excuse and let it slide.
Consciously or unconsciously, this could continue. As it continues, gradually, you enter the see finish zone. In such a situation my sister, distribute your eggs. Of course, he is the basket where you have put all your eggs in, so he is bound to notice that "come o, I am getting lighter and lighter o". If he loves you, he checks and corrects himself. If not, he leaves you utterly alone.
Share your eggs my sister. Begin to be selectively available. I didn't say fight with him or give him attitude. Nope. Instead just let him know that it's not that you have all the time in the world, it's just that you choose to squeeze time out for him because he means so much to you.
Ladies, you are bound to enter "see finish" zone when you give him the impression that he is your all, that you rise and wake at his feet. Hence, keep yourself busy. Go out with friends, take courses online, read novels, pray, attend dates with friends. Make him understand that you are selectively available. Respect your man, submit to and honor him but don't put all your eggs in one basket by giving him the impression that you cannot do without him, you cannot live without him. Stop giving him weapons to hurt you. Let him know that as much as you love him, you will not compromise on being treated as a queen. Be selectively available. Transfer your attention to other baskets of spiritual improvement, career, friends, family and many more baskets that exists around you.
You must also remember that to be treated like a queen, you have to be a queen. So be the beautiful and bold queens you are. Keep your heart with him, do not cheat on him, love him as you should but do not allow him "see you finish". So no! Don't cheat but yes do not put all your eggs in one basket.
For my guys, the real Gees and the true faithful kings, just turn the tables. You too can be the one in the see finish zone.
Ciao!
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